


I Lived on a Boat for Three Years (And my Father is a Monster)

by Twilight_Enterprises



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Also he spent three years with only sailors as his companions, Angst, Blood and Gore, Episode: s03e17 The Ember Island Players, Episode: s03e21 Sozin's Comet Part 4 Avatar Aang, Fic, Gen, I'm Sorry, Iroh (Avatar) is a Good Uncle, Iroh loves his smol traumatised turtleduck of a nephew (son), Ozai (Avatar) Being a Terrible Parent, Ozai (Avatar) is an Asshole, Ozai learns this the hard way, Swearing, The Gaang Learns How Zuko Got The Scar (Avatar), They really do, This started as humour I swear, Toph learns swear words from Zuko, Zuko (Avatar) is Bad at Feelings, Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck, Zuko's friends also love him, and a, and he loves his friends, but then it turned into nothing but, he really does, he's a bit of a nerd, let's be real he's got the worst potty mouth out of the entire gaang, seriously, with lots of opinions on theatre
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:27:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28059921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Twilight_Enterprises/pseuds/Twilight_Enterprises
Summary: In which the Gaang returns from the Ember Island Players' performance of "The Boy in the Iceberg" and Zuko has some feelings about it. And then he lets something slip into his rant, which turns into an explanation about why Aang needs to kill Ozai.
Relationships: The Gaang & Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 60
Kudos: 857





	1. My Heart Is At War

**Author's Note:**

> So this just kind of... happened.  
> Zuko swears like a sailor, because... well, he WAS a sailor.
> 
> Fuck Ozai. Seriously.

Sokka wasn’t entirely sure what to do with Zuko now that he’d joined the group. Sure, it was nice to know that they didn’t have to run from him anymore (assuming he had, in fact, been telling the truth like Toph said he was), but that didn’t mean it was comfortable. For any of them. In fact, Zuko himself almost seemed to be the most uneasy out of all of them, and he kept shooting nervous glances at Katara when she wasn’t looking. 

Sokka didn’t blame him. He too had a healthy fear of his sister’s wrath, which Zuko seemed to incur simply by existing. And… Zuko always seemed to think about what he was going to say before he said it?

Everyone did that to a certain extent, obviously, but Zuko more so. It was almost like he was… censoring himself. 

He probably was; after all, ten - thirteen, fourteen? How old was Zuko, anyway? - years of having Fire Nation propaganda shoved down your throat didn’t go away in a couple of days. He was most likely reminding himself not to call Sokka and Katara “Water Tribe peasants” and that Aang’s name was not “Avatar.”

Sokka didn’t realise just how wrong he was. 

It wasn’t until they’d been on Ember Island for a few days that Sokka discovered that Zuko had, indeed, been censoring himself, but not in the way he’d suspected. 

Sokka was minding his own business, exploring the beach house that apparently belonged to the flipping  _ Fire Lord,  _ when he heard it. 

“Holy motherfucking shit!”

What.

Sokka rounded the corner to see Zuko, holding his foot and hopping around in the most undignified manner he’d ever seen from the normally graceful prince. 

“Uh… Zuko? Everything okay, buddy?”

Zuko immediately dropped his foot and straightened up, looking distinctly embarrassed. “Yep. Everything’s fine. Just stubbed my toe. It’s fine.” 

Sokka couldn’t keep the grin off his face. “Right. And the swearing?”

“Swearing? What swearing? I didn’t hear any swearing.”

“Uh- _ huh.”  _

At this point, it’s important to note that the Gaang has the collective swearing vocabulary of - well, a 112 year old monk. The worst Aang ever said was “monkey feathers,” which was something he’d picked up from Sokka, who’d picked it up from Toph, who’d picked it up from Earth Rumble Six. 

This was, of course, because the only people who ever cursed in the Southern Water Tribe were the warriors, who all left before Sokka and Katara were old enough to learn those words; Toph was the daughter of two high-standing Earth Kingdom nobles, so her only exposure to curse words was an earthbending tournament; and Aang was raised by monks. One hundred years ago. 

Suki, possibly, knew more curse words than all four of them combined, but she never used them.

Until now, Sokka had assumed Zuko, being the prince of the Fire Nation, didn’t know any curse words either… but apparently he did. 

It was soon revealed that Zuko knew  _ all  _ the curse words, as Sokka - and the rest of the Gaang - found out upon their return from seeing “The Boy in the Iceberg” performed by the Ember Island Players. 

“I can’t fucking believe this,” Zuko was saying. “I mean, I knew they were bad, they completely fucking  _ destroyed  _ ‘Love Amongst the Dragons’ every spirits-damned year, but this takes the fucking  _ cake.  _ I can’t believe those bastards somehow managed to get so many fucking things wrong! Honestly, how hard can it be to cross-check your facts so your play isn’t a fucking piece of shit? I swear to Agni, they didn’t even get our characters right! I have not, nor will I ever, feel anything other than non-romantic feelings for Katara!” He started pacing, oblivious to the shocked faces staring at him. “Actually, speaking of Katara, what the  _ fuck  _ was that portrayal of her? It was like they were trying to turn her into a bitch! Katara is not a bitch! And what in Agni’s name was Aang supposed to be? I mean, yeah, he’s so optimistic it’s almost painful, but even  _ Aang  _ isn’t a ball of fucking happiness  _ all the bloody time!  _ And Sokka! As terrible as Sokka’s jokes are, at least they’re funny! And not all fucking meat related! Not to mention what they did to  _ my  _ character! Okay, sure, I used to be an asshole. I used to be a bit focused on my honour. I get that. But that doesn’t define who I am! And my scar is on the  _ left  _ side of my fucking face! Considering I got my scar in front of a huge-ass crowd, you’d think  _ someone  _ would remember that Ozai is right-handed! And Suki wasn’t even  _ in  _ the play! Suki is a motherfucking  _ goddess,  _ how could they not include her, honestly!” He paused, taking a deep breath, then launched into yet  _ more  _ ranting before anyone could say anything. “The only thing they got right was Toph, and even that was nowhere near accurate! Toph is  _ way  _ fucking scarier than that! Had any of their sources actually  _ seen  _ Toph fighting? She could kick the Fire Lord’s ass even without touching the ground! Tui and La, that play was a bloody piece of shit!”

The room was silent as Zuko snatched the playbill from Suki’s hands and set it on fire with a disturbingly Azula-esque grin. 

“You just said… so many bad words…” Aang gasped, looking absolutely scandalised. 

Zuko shrugged. “I spent three years on a boat with navy officers. They taught me as many curse words as they could within the first month.”

Katara snorted.

“I’m flattered you think so highly of me,” Suki said. 

“Yeah, me too, Sparky,” Toph agreed.

Sokka, however, had focused on one sentence. 

_ Considering I got my scar in front of a huge-ass crowd, you’d think  _ someone  _ would remember that Ozai is right-handed!  _

Zuko was sheepishly scratching the back of his neck. 

“Hey, jerkbender…” He watched as Zuko’s head shot up to look at him. “Why was there a crowd when you got your scar? And why did you say Ozai was right-handed like it was an important detail?”

Instantly, everyone was staring at Zuko’s face, and, Sokka suspected, coming to the sickening realisation that the scar was almost hand-shaped.

“...It was an Agni Kai. Firebender duel. Those typically have audiences, because they’re used to resolve matters of honour.” Zuko’s voice was quiet, vulnerable, and starkly different from the passionate speech he’d given mere moments before. 

Katara’s eyes were wide. “Why were you fighting the Fire Lord in an Agni Kai?”

Zuko curled in on himself, sliding down against the wall until he was sitting. “I begged my uncle to let me into the war meeting. I wanted to learn how to lead the Fire Nation. I wanted to learn how to be a good Fire Lord. The only condition was that I had to stay silent.” His words had become clipped, emotionless. “One of the generals proposed a plan to use a division of new recruits as bait so the stronger divisions could attack the earthbenders from behind. I…” A deep breath. “I couldn’t let them do that, so I protested. Said they were betraying our people. I disrespected the general. The Fire Lord declared an Agni Kai in compensation. The general was old. I knew I could defeat him.”

He was shaking now, Sokka noted worriedly. 

“But it was the Fire Lord’s war room, so it was the Fire Lord I had disrespected. I didn’t know that until I turned around and saw him. So I begged.” Zuko’s voice broke, and then it filled with what could only be described as despair. “I got on my knees and I  _ begged.  _ He insisted I fight, and when I didn’t, he cupped my face, like a father should. I thought he was going to forgive me.”

Aang and Katara were crying, and Toph and Suki looked horrified. Sokka just felt empty. 

Zuko looked up then, but his eyes were glazed, like he was seeing something else. “And he just sneered at me and said, ‘You will learn respect, and suffering shall be your teacher.’” 

If the way Zuko had said those words was accurate, then Ozai’s voice was  _ terrifying.  _ But not as terrifying as the next eight words Zuko said. 

“And then he set my face on fire.”

And then Sokka saw red. 

Zuko shook his head and looked at Aang, silent tears trickling down his face…  _ but only on one side.  _

The red intensified, and Sokka struggled to stop himself from marching to the Fire Nation capital and strangling Ozai himself. 

“Do you understand now, Aang? That’s why you have to kill him,” Zuko whispered. “If he was willing to do that to his own son for something as trivial as speaking out of turn at a war meeting, imagine what he will do to his enemies.”

Zuko stood then, and Sokka was suddenly reminded of the angry warriors they’d met all those months ago. 

“Do you understand, Aang?” he repeated. “You have to fucking kill him, because if you don’t…” His eyes flashed dangerously. “Then I will.”

And then he was gone. 


	2. I May Finally Be At Peace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Zuko gets some closure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> People seemed to like this, so my writer's brain went "!!! Post-finale meeting between Zuko and Ozai!!! Needs to happen!!!" So here it is. Even though this was originally just a one shot. 
> 
> Also, this is significantly darker than the first part. Warning for blood and slightly graphic description of the Gaang getting revenge on Ozai on Zuko's behalf.  
> Completely ignores the comics, because I haven't read those.

It hurt to see Lula chained to the grate of the waterways, unhinged and broken. 

It hurt because beneath it all, beneath the frantic, jerking movements in desperate attempts to get free, her face hadn’t quite lost all its baby fat. 

It hurt because Azula was only fourteen,  _ holy spirits she’s still so young,  _ the same age as Katara - Katara, who looked so cold and composed with just a hint of sorrow, and from what he’d seen of her bending was really only different from Azula in that her father genuinely loved her and her brother had never been afraid of her and did his best to protect her.

It hurt because  _ that was Lula, his baby sister, who used to look at him and Lu Ten with wonder and adoration in her eyes as they taught her how to tie her own top-knots, as he showed her how to feed the turtleducks, as Lu Ten showed off the latest firebending form he’d learned.  _

It hurt because he was her big brother. He was supposed to protect her.

It hurt because he’d failed. 

It also physically hurt, because she’d just shot him with lightning and Katara’s healing could only do so much. But that didn’t hurt quite as much.

So, naturally, that was when Sokka (who had a broken leg), Suki (who somehow didn’t have so much as a hair out of place, further confirming Zuko’s suspicion that she was, in fact, a literal goddess), Toph (who was grinning as devilishly as ever), and Aang (who honestly looked like shit) showed up. 

With a very-much-alive Ozai in tow. 

“I took his bending away,” Aang explained tiredly. “He’s harmless now.”

Zuko resisted the urge to snort derisively. Ozai would never be harmless, not as long as his tongue was still functional. Not as long as his words could worm their way into Zuko’s head and tear down any semblance of strength he’d ever had. 

Even Azula’s deranged begging quieted as Zuko approached his father. He couldn’t help but appreciate the irony of the situation - for once, it was  _ Ozai  _ who was kneeling on the ground, completely at Zuko’s mercy, instead of the other way around like it had been in Zuko’s nightmares for the last three years. 

Ozai seemed to have reached the same conclusion, though his pride wouldn’t let him beg for forgiveness. 

No,  _ “I only had the nation’s best interests at heart”  _ this time. No,  _ “You will fight for your honour.” _ No,  _ “You will learn respect, and suffering shall be your teacher.”  _

Just two pairs of eyes. One rusty, like an abandoned warship, the other vibrant gold, like Agni themself, still glowing with the power of the comet. 

Just two men, a father and his son, a monster and a traumatised child. 

“Are you going to gloat, Zuko?” Ozai sneered, after the silence had dragged on for too long. 

Zuko merely shook his head. He heard Aang suck in a sharp breath, and knew they were both remembering the promise of patricide from Ember Island. 

Ozai scowled. “Are you going to execute me, then?”

“The Avatar has made his decision,” Zuko said tonelessly. “I will respect it.”

Aang sighed in relief. 

Ozai’s scowl deepened. “If you will not execute me, what  _ will  _ you do?”

That wasn’t worth responding to yet. 

“I see. It seems you are as weak as ever, despite my best efforts.”

_ That  _ was worth responding to. “I’m  _ stronger _ than you’ll ever be, despite your best efforts,” Zuko spat. “It would be so easy,  _ so easy,  _ to kill you right here, right now. But I won’t. Because I’m better than that. Better than you.”

Ozai’s scowl got impossibly deeper still. “You are  _ nothing  _ compared to me.”

Zuko looked down his nose at him. “You’re right. I’m not a monster whose ego is so fragile that he felt the need to permanently scar a  _ thirteen year old  _ for being a better leader than him.”

Because Zuko had seen enough leaders now - Uncle Iroh, Suki, Sokka, Hakoda, even  _ Jet  _ \- to know that that’s what had really happened in that war council. Zuko had done what a leader is supposed to do, putting their people first, while Ozai, the actual leader, threw the people’s lives away. Like they weren’t people at all, but puppets, tiles on a Pai Sho board. 

Like Azula, who had thought she was the player but was merely the most powerful piece on the board. 

Like Zuko himself had been, until he turned out to be the white lotus tile his uncle had lost all those months ago, which was freed from the player’s control. 

Ozai looked like he’d been slapped. But while he had lost his literal fire, he hadn’t lost his verbal one. “I suppose that’s what your precious cousin thought when my assassins took his life?”

Zuko’s next words were punctuated by sparks flying from his mouth.  _ “Your  _ assassins?”

“Are you really so stupid as to have believed a prince with firebending prowess to rival your sister’s could have been killed by such idiots as earthbenders?”

Several things happened at once. 

Zuko looked desperately at Suki, who nodded grimly.

Toph earthbent Ozai’s restraints tighter until his wrists snapped, clearly offended by his statement about her people. 

Suki drew a knife. 

“You’re pathetic,” Zuko whispered, and then all hell broke loose.

Aang looked away very deliberately, giving his permission. 

Sokka punched Ozai in the face, smashing his nose, which subsequently started to bleed. 

Katara bent that blood into Ozai’s eyes, causing him to cry out in a mixture of surprise and discomfort. 

Suki acted on Zuko’s earlier silent plea. She reached into Ozai’s mouth, grabbed his tongue, and cut it off. 

Zuko fell to his knees and let himself be truly vulnerable for the first time since his mother left. 

That was how Iroh found them, when he returned from Ba Sing Se, along with Hakoda, who’d met up with him at some point. Zuko on his knees, dried tear tracks on his face (which was more relaxed than Iroh had ever seen it), surrounded - and slightly squished - by Aang, Katara, Sokka, Suki, and Toph, who were all hugging him; all six of them sound asleep. 

Iroh’s gaze then turned to his brother, unconscious but alive, with his wrists bent at odd angles and his nose disfigured and his face covered in blood, lying on the ground next to a small, pink lump. 

Now, Iroh normally wasn’t a very violent person. 

But seeing Ozai like that, after everything that man had done to the boy Iroh considered his own, brought a smug smile of grim satisfaction to his face. 

It was about time someone put Ozai in his place. 

It was about time someone showed Zuko just how much he was loved. 


End file.
